emotional attachment

The Time to Move On

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Life is not easy.  From time to time the question arises: “Is it time to move on?”

Out of energy, and the end of our rope, it feels to hard to keep going, and we ask ourselves:

“Should I just give up?”

Well, that depends on what you are thinking about giving up?

  • Should I give up on my dream?  NEVER!
  • Should I give up on my passion?  Not in a million years!
  • Should I give up on following my bliss?  Not for anything!

When we hit a low point, there is often something we do need to give up, but it isn’t any of those things.


Often, we are holding on to things so hard we are smothering them.  Our emotional attachments blind us to opportunities before our very eyes.  They allow us to feel slighted by the smallest circumstances.

I consider myself lucky that I never set out to be a “major writer.”  I can’t imagine the pressure to sell books and make everyone like what I am doing.

I write stories for me.  If anyone else likes them, that is a blessing.  I want to tell a good story, not be the next Stephen King.  I can control the quality of my stories, not the whims of the market.  It is hard for me be disappointed by the reception any of my stories gets.

I have some friends who really want to be a top shelf writer, selling hundreds of thousands if not millions of copies.  That is a difficult goal to achieve, and I see their disappointment.

False Hopes

What most people don’t understand is that a false hope is one what you have no power to accomplish.

I would love to sell millions of books, but all I can do is write the best I can, and promote them to the best of my ability. Almost anything is achievable if we set our mind to it.

Your Turn

Can you think of any other false hope?  What can we do to make our dreams more attainable?

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The Most Important Thing

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The tension between fame and a meaningful life is strong.  It is easy to confuse one for the other.  This struggle is more acute for an Entertainment designer since we are a nation (and culture) built on the idea the winner takes all.

Anytime a show is not number one, it is deemed a failure by the tabloid press.  Think about some common statements of defeat:

  • I wasn’t picked to lead the team.
  • They didn’t like my idea.
  • Only a few people showed up for my party.
  • Only one person wished me happy birthday.
  • I didn’t show up, and nobody even noticed.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:

Quality is more important than Quantity.

I know, that is such a cliche, but it is true!

If you weren’t picked to lead the team, be grateful you are free from the stress of leadership and participate to the best of your ability.

If they don’t like your ideas, ask yourself if you pitched them to the right people, or if they need some tweaking and improvement. Who cares if only a few people show up for the party, did you all have a good time?

I am not saying that we have to always look for a bright side in every situation.  Sometimes their just isn’t one.  What we need to do is:

1. Identify our Real Obstacles

It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves and have the ‘Poor me’s, but that doesn’t help anyone but the people and things between us and our goals.  If we don’t know what we are really up against, we cannot make a plan to overcome the obstacle and move ahead. Just don’t forget, sometimes we have to make a turn and go off in a new direction.  That’s what innovation is.

2. Find the Path

Once you see the obstacle, next you need to figure our the way around, through, or over it.

I have a superstition about the path I follow.  When I am on the right track, I have the motivation to carry my through.  When I am not, I don’t.

The real objective is to have a life that makes a feel alive, not merely one we survive as long as we can.

My dad is most alive when he is fixing things.  It would be ludicrous for him to have worked his way into management.  It would have sapped the zeal of life from him.  He followed his bliss, and still does in retirement.

The easiest way to find your path is to help others to find theirs.  That is why I am always volunteering to help people out.  A lot times, the solution to my problems is the same as theirs, and it easier for me to see without the emotional attachment I have to my own.

3. Stay on the Path

Remember, the most important thing is to follow your bliss!

Passion really does equal life.  The more passionate we are about our life, the more we feel alive.  The real trick is not loosing site of the things that make us feel alive.

Your turn

What tricks do you use to identify and overcome the obstacles in your life?  How did you find your bliss and what are you doing to keep following it?

Three Types of SF Fans

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Every since I first entered fandom in the 90's, I noticed that not all fans are the same, and, in fact, not all those who call themselves fans actually are.

A fan is a fanatic. An easy way to figure out if you are a fan is to ask yourself one question: "Is there anything that I just cannot get enough of?" If the answer is yes, then you are a true fan.

Most people actually fit in the class of Enthusiast or maybe even Buff. An Enthusiast is some one who is excited by a certain series, but can be satisfied by what they can find. A buff is someone who may know a lot about a particular subject but has no emotional attachment to the subject.

Why am I making such a big deal out of this? Because, I am tired of finding SF blogs and sites that claim to be run by fans, but are not. And even when I find one of those few golden sites that is actually run by a fan or fan community, I then discover that they are not the same type of fan as I am.

Over the years, I have sought out a good site/blog, and I have found that Fans fit nicely into three categories:

  1. Fans of the Spectacle: Fans who are interested in action and special effects, typically of Space Opera, Disaster/Monster/Action Movies, usually watches movies, some series, rarely reads.
  2. Fans of the Specifics: Fans who are interested in the nitty-gritty details and their accuracy or consistency.Typically of Hard Scifi, Military Scifi, and High Fantasy, usually reads the books, watches the series, and nit-picks the movies
  3. Fans of the Story: Fans who are interested in the story, the characters, and Typically Soft Scifi and Sociological Fantasy, usually reads or watches the series, and watches the movies.

We are of the third type. Honestly, I bounce around on the spectrum depending on what we are talking about, but for the majority of things that I love, I love them for the characters, the setting, or the meaning I find in the story itself.

Being a fan of story helps me set my expectations for a book, series, or film. For example, I didn't expect much more out of Transformers than a Spectacle. Giant robots blowing stuff up, and that is exactly what I got from the film. So I liked the film. I knew going into it that there wouldn't be much of a story or the specifics that I had grown to love from the Transformers.

There are very few blogs of this third type. I would love to learn about others, but I have yet to find them. I write out of a sense of what I love, rather than what I can mock for a cheap thrill. I hope you are as excited as I am about exploring this rich world of SF stories with me. I can barely wait to get started.

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