It's time to break the chains (2016 Objectives)

I know you all are probably tired of hearing me say this, but the last couple years have been hard for me.  Depression is a thing.  As we start 2016, it is time for me to do something that I haven't done in a while, I need to set some objectives for the new year.

The break down I went through taught me a couple things.

  1. I am stronger than I thought I was (and so are we all).
  2. You all really do care about not only what we built here, but about me. (That helped me get through more than you know.)
  3. Fandom is what I am, not just something I do.

That third one might sound strange.  In my darkest moments, I found strength not only in my faith, but in Spock, the Doctor, and my love for all things Henson.  When I didn't feel like doing anything, I would listen to Rainbow Connection, and find the strength to keep going.  BTW, I have amassed quite a collection of covers of that song.  I think my favorite is by Amanda Palmer.  She also helped more than she will ever know.  I have never met her, and I probably never will, but her book The Art of Asking, and her music was a big help.

So, having said all that, I have some objectives for this year.

Objective 1. I want to Write more

That might sound overly simple.  I am a writer after all, but with everything that has been going on, I haven't been able to write nearly as much, as I wanted.  I tied myself down with planning, and did very little writing.  I am not going to keep it that vague.

Goal 1.1 I want to post 4 Short Stories a month to Medium

There are a lot of stories in me, and I just need to tell them.  I need to stop worrying if this story or that should be a novel, a serial, a novella, novelette, or a short story.  I should tell the stories that are in my head, and then listen to you all.  If you all want me to elaborate on or extend a story, then that is probably my next novel.  After all, what good is all my writing if no one wants to read it, right?

At any rate, I feel like that will be a good way to collaborate more closely with you all.  I like the idea, and we'll see how it works out.

Goal 1.2 I want to blog more, at least 5 times a week

This is a bit harder for me.  I am so tired of the nonsense hype cycle, and I don't want to be a part of it any more, but there are a lot of things I want to share with you all and discuss.  I am going to do my best to take the time to share those thoughts.  I have to stop keeping it all inside.

Objective 2.  I want to Podcast more

I love podcasting.  I really do.  So I want to set aside the time to do it more.  I even talked Brian into joining me on the podcast again. (insert appropriate happy dance emoji here).

Goal 2.1 Record 5 podcasts a week 22-45 minutes each

Project: Shadow lives again.  More themed episodes, but I will try to have a headline section for things that are actually interesting.  I am going to need your help with this.  I have a lot of things I want to talk about, but could always use your suggestions for show topics.

Two objectives that give me three goals.  It might not sound like a lot, but that should keep me busy in 2016.  I would really like to know what you think.  What are you doing this year?  Let me know in the comments.

A Look forward to 2015: There and Never Going Back

2014 was a crazy year, and I mean that literally.  I spent most of the last quarter in deep depression, and I am glad to say that I am doing a lot better now.

I started out the year working on a Zine, technically a micropub magazine (dashPunk).  I wish things would have gone that way.  I was really excited about the project, even though I knew it would have been a lot of work. 

On January 29, I brought Project: Shadow back and started working on changing the nature of my work.  I wish I would have stuck with it, but more about that in a minute.

I didn't go ahead with the Zine because I felt like it wasn't a good fit for what I was trying to do.  It cost so much to do something that should be a lot easier, and I wasn't willing to charge people enough money to make it profitable.  I didn't want to loose money on the project, so I abandoned it.

I should have seen what was coming before I did.  On July 14, I noted in my journal that certain things were starting to freak me out.  On September 22, the depression hit.  It held on like nothing I have ever experienced before.  It smothered me in its embrace until December 16. 

I learned a lot while living under those shadows, important things.  I learned who my real friends are, and just how many people included me in their life as someone who could be useful to them.  My friends weathered the storm with me.  I am grateful to them.

As you know, I like to give names to important parts of my life.  I think I will remember this period as The Pruning.  I learned what was really important to me, and I cut away everything else.

On my Social Media life and Business

I want to start looking back by looking at the numbers starting with those from ThinkUp.

Number of Posts

  • In 2014, @cedorsett posted a total of 829 tweets. At 15 seconds per tweet, that amounts to 3 hours and 27 minutes. @cedorsett's followers probably appreciated it (ThinkUp).
  • This year, I posted a grand total of 963 times on Facebook. If each status update and comment took about 15 seconds, that's over 4 hours dedicated to keeping in touch with friends (ThinkUp).

I feel like I haven't been social and open enough about what is going on and what I have been up to.  While it sounds like I spent a lot of time posting, that came in fits and spurts. 

  • My longest tweeting streak lasted for 26 days, from August 4th to August 29th (ThinkUp).
  • I posted at least one status update or comment to Facebook for 57 days in a row, from January 1st to February 26th (ThinkUp).

Words per Month on Twitter

Words per Month on Facebook

As you can see from the graph, I started out the year strong, and had a increase around Shore Leave, but the general trend line was down.

Part of that was my disillusionment with social media, and part of that was the depression that crept up on me throughout the year.  I need to be more open, and I am looking for ways to share more and to be more helpful to you all.  If you have any ideas, I would love to hear them.

  • I entered a grand total of 10,071 words into the Twitter data entry box, reaching peak wordage in January, with 2,650 words. If @cedorsett were writing a book, that would be about 37 pages (ThinkUp).
  • I tapped 17,031 words into Facebook's status update or comment box, topping out with 5,520 words in January. If Eric Dorsett were writing a book, that would be about 62 pages (ThinkUp).

The most interesting thing to me is that I talked more about writing on twitter and my books and books in general on Facebook.  I also talked more about movies on Twitter.

Moving forward

I need to go back to what I had originally intended to do.  I need to "think out loud" on the blogs and through my social posts.

On that front, I set up a Known site and I plan on making that my social hub, but I will repost from their to my other accounts.  I don't enjoy Facebook, and I really never have.  After 8 years on Twitter, I don't feel like I am getting out of it what I used to.  I am not leaving those services, but I feel like I need to build out a site has the social qualities I want it to have.  That is what I hope the Known site will become.

For now, I am the only one that can post there, anyone can comment and like.  Early on, I will invite others to post individually.  Hopefully, once it is up and running, I will open up the registration to everyone.  The reason is, when I first set up the site it was open, and it was flooded by spammers.  I locked it down, and am now looking for ways to fix that problem.

I want to get the podcast up and running again, but I need your help with that.  I need to know what you want to talk about, and how it can be of service to you.

This year will hopefully be a turning point in my life and my work.  I hope it is for you too.  I can't wait to see what we can do together.

Looking for a way forward

A wealth of opportunities has never been a problem for me until recently.   I kinda feel like a jerk worrying about it as much as I am, but it is my nature to care way too much. 

Story ideas flow again, now it is just a matter of what to do with them.  That is where I am spoiled for choice. 

The problem is, I don't want to choose. I want to do it all, but I am not sure I have the time to do it all.  

The first opportunity is the magazine I have always wanted to do. Starting a new magazine as a one man shop is a little frightening, but I think I can do it.  

I just don't want to do it to the exclusion of other projects. I want to find a way to work it into the flow. I am sure there is a way, but I just don't see it clearly right now.  

The second opportunity is to do a world in Storium. I love the very idea of that, but it is such a new service that it is a risk.  

I have been working on a table top game, and maybe this is the kick in the pants I need to get that done.  

I want to go hardcore back into scifi for a bit, because I miss it so much. 

What do you want to see from me?  Where would you like to see me go?  I think I can do it all and make it work, but if that isn't something you all are interested in, then maybe it isn't the way I should go.  

Help me Obi-wan Kenobi! You are my only hope. 

A New Year Dawns


with your help, 2014 will be amazing!

I really want to thank everyone for making 2013 such a great year.  Thanks you your support, last year was our best year.  Please keep spreading the word, so much more is comming this year.

Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi, you are my only hope!

This year, I am bringing back Project: Shadow and the Zines!

Project: Shadow is the site that started it all.  A community site to share the things we love and working on.  Well, I relaunched just before the new year, and I invite you to join me as I rediscover all the things that I love, and I cannot wait to see what all you have to share.

The Zines will be a collection of serials that will come out every 2 weeks.  Hopefully, they will launch soon, but they will not come out without your help.  For those of you who want early access, join the beta reader's group and help me to get the stories ready for release.

This will be a big year.  I can't wait to see what new wonder 2014 holds for us.

The Return of Project: Shadow

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
— Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear, Dune

Last year was rough for me.  It's not like any thing in particular happened, well, now that I think about it, that is not exactly true.

2013 has been a year of anxiety and fear for me, and only now, as I sit here writing this post  does it start to make sense.

My first memory of the year is the morning someone kicked the door into our house.  Nothing was stolen.  No one was hurt.  The dog barked, and scared them off.  I am not sure my anxiety levels ever return to normal after that.

So now on the cusp of 2014, I have decided to start new.  I'm going to reboot my life and career, and that starts with the return of Project: Shadow.

Some of my diehard readers will undoubtedly say, "Project: Shadow has never gone away."

If you are one of them, I would like to say, thank you for reading my  tumblr blog. While it is true I continued to post over there, we all have to admit it was a half assed blog.  I want to get back to blogging like I used to.

I miss the sharing and the community.  I need to refocus my mind away from fear and back towards the things I love.  After all, true love casts out fear.  I invite you on this journey with me.

I look forward to your questions and comments.  Together, we are Project: Shadow.

Goals, Hopes and Ambitions

face_to_logo_150 As we get closer to 2008, I find myself thinking a lot about my hopes for next year, and making plans to accomplish them. My blessing/curse is that I tend to dream big. None of my goals are easy to accomplish, but that is all the more reason to focus on making them into realities. It feels like too many people have forgotten how to dream big. They are happy with little to nothing, never daring to hope that they could have more. I love my life, but that doesn't mean that I don't keep setting goals for myself to stretch for. Don't get me wrong, be content where you are, but never stop stretching for the stars.

My Dreams and Ambitions

I want:

  • to write and produce an animated series/movies.
  • to write content for and manage my own MMO.
  • to have my own table-top and computer rpgs (I have a scheme for this but I am not sharing :P)
  • to have a family, not a large one, but a couple of kids.
  • to find peace.

None of these are easy to achieve, but they are all worth pursuing. More importantly, they give me something to strive towards. I am not sure how or when I will be able to do them, but I have to keep trying. I have more dreams than I know what to do with, but hope is the heart of life.

Queensryche taught me the Art of Life:

The art of life is ... without rushing, without faltering, unraveling the secrets of knowledge. We must challenge and defeat our four natural enemies; Fear. Clarity of mind. Power and the desire to rest. (Tribe)

What else is there to do?

Twittering About...

Hello all, This has been a roller coaster so far, I have been busy at work on the follow up to Deus, and thanks again to everyone who bought a copy. Please continue to spread the word.

I thought I would let you know, I have started using Twitter, and have placed Twitter badges on the homepage and the MySpace Page, so if you ever want to know what i am up to, check it out.  If you don't know what Twitter is, it is a service that lets you post updates on what you are doing.  It is fun and simple.  It is from the same people who do Odeo.

I have been thinking about programing a mutli-user role playing interface for the website, but I don't know if anyone would be interested.  It would be text for the most part at the beginning until I either did the art myself of I got some help from some gracious volunteers..

The next episode of the podcast will be done soon.  The holiday and the unexpected success of Deus has distracted me lately, sorry about that.  This weeks will not have a story in it, but hopefully next weeks will.

Until next time.

Writer's Block and the Encompered Vision

Lately, I have been blocked up, like a dirty dry well. I sit and stare at the computer screen, waiting for the words to flow... yet they have not. The work on the series is coming along well, but I am tired, and lack focus. I can feel the stress flooding my body, but I don't know where it is coming from. I have met my deadlines, the series is on schedule... my only real source of stress is my own expectations. I debated for a long time, whether I should blog about anxieties that have racked my mind and body for the last month, but why shouldn't I share.

I have a vision for the site, and Brian is revved up to promote it, but I have no clue how to do the things I am wanting to do. So many stories are fighting for space in my head, and I need to find a way to get all of the ideas out.

Recently, I have spent most of my time working on the look of the site. (and I hope you all like the changes). But now it has come time to fill the site with content, and I am afraid I am going to build a site that in unintelligible to anyone but me. I have looked to my heroes (Star Wars and Star Trek), but frankly, I don't find either site useful or entertaining...

That last word is really the problem. I want this site to be more than just informative, I want it to be fun, and I know I have not accomplished that yet.

I think I am going to write up some companion books on the setting and incorporate them in the site, and to make them available through Cafe Press. The Chian'niu Origins will be coming out soon. I think I might just go meditate and goof off on Star Wars Galaxies until I calm down enough to write.

Up for a Breath...

C.E. Dorsett I'm still here, but life has been hectic lately. After my illness, we packed up and move to our beautiful new house, or at least a house I haven't lived in since I was a little kid. After the move, I was unable to update the website. Don't ask me why, I really don't know. It is all working now so I'm back.

I will return to blogging and I have a lot of items for the website. I hope you all like.


The audio series is driving me crazy. More on that soon.